Friday, November 11, 2011

Why I Hate Naples (most of the time)

Unassuming Assassins
If anyone ever had the nightmarish thought of what the world would be like if a bunch of five -year -old narcissists were allowed to run free-- they would find Naples pretty close.

Rereading that sentence, I can't imagine who might have that thought.  Maybe a frazzled Kindergarten teacher left with a classroom of 20 kids coming down from the sugar blast of the 'end of the year' party?  Doesn't matter.

Come to Naples and you will have that thought.  You will think...who raised these people? (wolves--not wolves, they would be better organized)
Who are these people?
How have they all not died in a one million car pile-up on their sorry excuses for highways? (that is harsh, but hell, it is NOT easy)

So, why the wrath?  Well. Jack just came in here ranting and spewing negative energy and the F bomb all over the place.   So much so that I had to open windows and light incense.  He was trying to get to the gym (nice, I have laundry to fold and floors to clean) but there was some ***hole who parked his car in front of our driveway.  You have to understand, he didn't just park US in.  He parked everyone in the entire building in.  He must have come out to move his car because after five minutes or so Jack stopped leaning on his horn.

The Source of the Tissues

This might seem benign, I mean simply being parked in, but for us it is just another straw--one more drop in the bucket.

We have people who pitch their garbage over our garden fence into our garden.  Our crazy old neighbor, whose terrace, comes out over the far side of the garden pitches her garbage into our garden too.  Used tissues, there are always used tissues flying around my garden.

But the worst, the absolute worst is the driving.

Driving here is a gamble at the best of times.  I have been caught in traffic for HOURS just because these people can't merge.  They can't merge because they are a bunch of developmentally arrested narcissists who think that whatever THEY have to do is much more important than what YOU might be doing.  So much more important is their arrival that they are entitled to create lanes where there aren't, drive on the shoulder, cut you of on the right or the left, or do whatever they hell they want to ensure that they get in front of you.  I mean ZIPPER people, Zipper!

Many foreigners joke about the driving here in Naples, but the reality is stark.  It is NOT funny.  It is dangerous. I am forced to drive around with the most precious thing in the world in the back seat of my car in the midst of these sociopaths.  Yes, they are sociopaths because they are totally oblivious to the effect that their reckless driving can have on others.

So, yes, being parked in.  One more reason why we hate it here.

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