Blogging for my Sanity

Beware.  This might be a doosey.  We are currently thirty-nine minutes into the first night of our GENTLE- LOVING SLEEP TEACHING with Abigail.  That is what I am calling it for me.

Judging from the wails that are coming from the other room, I am not sure she would agree with the title.  Basically, we are trying to get her to go down in her crib and stay there.  She is learning to sleep in her crib.

I don't know if I am strong enough for this.  I feel like a cruel, hard-hearted mother.

I can hear her settle, fall asleep and then she starts wailing.  I am sure it is when Jack puts her down in the crib.  But seriously.  She cannot be held ALL the time when she sleeps.  I mean-- it is not even the nursing down. It is her being able to sleep without being held.

When I was nursing her, before handing her off to Jack, tonight I was crying.  I am sad to think that this is the end of me being able to nurse her to sleep.  But it isn't, not really.  She needs to be able to sleep in her crib.  She is awake and crawling around our bed in the middle of the night.  It is not safe.  And she cannot spend every minute that she is asleep with me.  It is impossible.

7:46.  Crying again.

We split the evening up.  Jack is on until midnight and then I am on til 6am when she wakes up and presumably, I get to go to sleep for a little.

Not the best night to start, either.  I had a migraine today.  Which means I spent the day trying to keep Abigail happy while suffering though bouts of puking.  Lovely.

Ok.  Maybe knitting will calm me.  Etsy?  Alcohol? Valium?  Anything.

I guess I'll clean the kitchen.